"I wake up and I'm sober. Don't even know you anymore."- Andy Grammer "Miss Me"
So I was on the wonderful world of itunes one day and scrolled down to find the best selection of free music. The first choice was this somewhat uplifting song called "Miss Me" by this artist Andy Grammer who I just recently discovered is amazing.
I like the song. And you wanna know why?
Remember that boy who I am head over heels for but somehow "forgot" me? I mean how could you forget the long sob story of how broken hearted I was, and how my world was coming to an end because of one stupid encounter. But for reals that was a pretty good post I must say. Hold your applause.
Any who... I have officially graduated from high school (holla) but graduation day was hell on earth in my opinion. It doesn't help that my household can't make any simple gathering, well, simple...but I spent that day upset over you know who. Technically you don't know who but it's that forgetful boy if you were wondering.
Yup. That day I got into a big fight with my mom and finally broke down and confessed. "It's his fault! I don't know how to fix it. I'm depressed!" <------(Me whaling in the bathtub)
Can't say my mom was shocked, but I think she was relieved to know it was over a guy and nothing else. Although in my case I really wish it were something else because I don't wish this upon anyone.
Basically I told my mom that this knowledge that I have in my mind and these "feelings" towards this person I have in my heart, have taken over and now control everything that is me. From the moment I wake up, to the time I shut my eyes, this kid is constantly IN MY HEAD. And because he has no clue that he's killing me because he's with another person, and no idea I exist, I literally want to explode in to a million pieces. It's sad though. Instead of enjoying everything I'm angry and depressed inside. There are good days, but when there's a bad day, it's a BAD day. But that day when I was sitting in my bathtub crying like a five year old wanting my mommy, I finally told my mom, and myself, that enough is enough and I'm tired. Absolutely exhausted. And that night I graduated with a 3.7 GPA, and got the best sleep of my life. I set myself free. Free of all things him.
Please.
I wish it were that easy. You know just "Hey see ya sucka, enjoy your blonde!"
No.
But I did think of the last post. Never letting go right? I will always think of this kid the way I have for three years. No matter what happens between us. I know what's right in my heart, and sadly I know he doesn't. Therefore I can't be this miserable person anymore. I finally exploded on graduation day because I thought about my high school life. It all revolved around him. Look where it got me. Sitting in a tub, next to a dirty toilet. What a life.
Mr. Grammer is on my side. According to his song, someone screwed him over too, but instead of sitting in his own tears, he's laughing in their face. I've joined his team.
"I wake up and I'm sober don’t even know you anymore
I'm drunk on a feeling lost in believing I was sure
I don’t care what you had to say, damn words get in the way
I don’t wanna know
I know there will come a time and look you in the eyes and say: I told you so
And I promise you this, you're gonna miss me, miss me
As long as you live you are going to miss me, miss me
Set me up for the falling, gave me no warning you were gone
Let me down I was reading, cant believe what you have done
Go do what you've gotta do, damn words will follow you
Everywhere you go
I know there will come a time and look you in the eyes and say: I told you so..."
Just like I miss him, one day he will too. I know this kid, and he's not a waste of time, he's just taking too long.
So I'm going to be a grown up and enjoy my summer, "him" free. I got myself a free song, that helped free me and I haven't looked back. And we'll meet again, and I'm sure when we do I'll pee my pants and then run away like the good old days. I guess this is to be continued. Oh boy.
